Fear Knocked, I Answered

The sky was a midnight-blue, like warm, deep, blue water, and the moon seemed to lie on it like a water-lily, floating forward with an invisible current.
      ~Willa Cather
For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
     ~ 1 John 3:11
There is some irony in today’s message for me.  So many circumstances came together to make this year’s Valentine’s Day so very different than any other.  An impending blizzard that was hyped to the max by the Weather Channel, my daughter’s own lovely Valentine plans, my husband being called away on business and he had to drive from New York to Maine in a short window. 
The prospect of being alone could have daunted me, but I planned on setting the table with fine china, making a shrimp dish for myself and sitting, enjoying my own company, under the  fragrant bouquet of flowers that my husband brought home.  I was going to love myself and have so much extra love to share!
After dinner, I was going to read, write and perhaps watch a favorite show.  
The snow started early, my daughter left for her plans, had to return for a forgotten item.  I began to settle in to the peace of the quiet house.  She called, she was fine, the car was fine, but it had literally slid sideways off the road and she couldn’t get it out.  The owner of a local restaurant saw her in distress and delivered her to her destination.  She was okay.  I fell apart and fear was my new companion.  I reached out in fear and started a chain reaction that was anything but love.  It took five hours to establish that the tow truck company could not find the car with the address and physical description of the road…in two attempts, and my daughter and her friends dug out the car themselves.  An angel with his girlfriend appeared and pulled the car out with a rope.  All was well. But fear had done its work.
Everyday plate with defrosted shrimp, diet coke, no writing, no …well you get the picture.  I allowed it to seep into my Sunday morning and heard the wind and was afraid to drive. I got sick.  Don’t know if it was viral or stress related, but the bottom line is, I missed worship, and a wonderful evening because of fear.  
My husband is in a ticklish spot, under  a sign that reads “Love One Another.”  This is ever a challenge, but he is trying his level best.
Today, on this Presidents’ Day, kick fear out.  It has no place in our lives with each other in the pure sense (yes there are extenuating circumstances, but I think you know my direction here.)
If you are frustrated  or afraid, find your prayer closet (or your car) and go out there and yell, call out, cry, do what you have to before you text, pick up a phone or run to a neighbor.  When you have your calm back, then proceed, leaving a trail of love that doesn’t include fear in it’s undertones, or tracks in the snow.
Lord, I am sorry for allowing fear to engulf me.  Forgive me, and help me to forgive myself and others. Help me to trust more deeply.
Because of Him,

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Filed under Devotional, Inspirational, Original Writing, Poetry

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